Sticker Charts: Do They Really Change Your Child's Behavior?

Sticker charts are controversial in the parenting industry. Honestly, my son had many, many variations of sticker charts and they all ultimately failed. One after the other, they became meaningless and eventually discarded. Teachers would check off vague goals and a reward would be given at the end of a day (or not) or I became overwhelmed with keeping up with the process while managing multiple children and work. As I became more experienced with these charts, I realized the many reasons why they failed. I began to understand the fine tuning of a sticker chart and realized that they had been ineffective because they were not well thought out, too vague, too all encompassing, etc. They became meaningless. And eventually they fell by the wayside.

However, many parents and schools believe in the efficacy of sticker charts and are committed to their use. As I said, they never worked for us, but if you are determined to try this behavioral approach, then there are structures, processes and boundaries to consider in order to better ensure its success. So, the following is what I have learned - both through experience and in collaboration with professionals I respect - about sticker charts and how to implement them. If you decide that you want - or need - to implement a behavioral plan that includes a sticker chart, I encourage you to read on…

Let’s start with two basic questions:

1) Who benefits from a sticker chart?

2) What behaviors can be effectively modified by the use of a chart?

1) Not all children benefit from a behavior plan

Sticker charts, particularly in schools, are used frequently and sometimes are destined for failure out of the gate. When considering implementing such a plan, we must first look beneath the targeted behavior and determine whether it is a product of an intentional choice or if it is something truly beyond their control. For example, an intentional behavior, or one that a child has control over, could be refusing to put their toys away or, for older children, yelling at a parent. A behavior that is not within a child’s control could include intense emotional reactions (self-regulation), squirming and moving about at his school desk.

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2) Keep the goals concrete and achievable

There is a tendency to target goals that are somewhat amorphous. They are larger and longer term goals that are often unclear and subject to evaluation by whomever is judging the behavior. And, to complicate matters, it may not be the same person determining whether the sticker should be earned so the evaluation of success can vary from adult to adult. For instance, the following behaviors are up to interpretation as to whether the sticker is earned or not:

1. Your child will listen to the teacher (how can you tell if she is really listening?)

2. Your child will play nicely with others (what does ‘nicely’ mean?)

3. Your child will be respectful to you (who determines what is respectful?)

Remember, this is a behavior plan. Desired goals need to be broken down into smaller discrete behaviors that are observable and not determined by judgment.

For instance, to break down the goal of your child getting ready for school independently, the follow objectives could be included and tracked on the chart. More concrete goals aimed to reach the larger goal might include:

Overall goal: Your child will get himself ready for school.

This can be broken down into the following targeted tasks:

1. Your child will brush his teeth before school

2. Your child will pack up his backpack

3. Your child will put on his shoes by himself

*** Sometimes a child may only be able to achieve one of the above objectives or can only achieve 75% of the stickers. That’s ok. It’s not set in stone. Start where he is and work from there. Be patient and don’t forget you are his number one cheerleader.

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3) Length of time to earn a sticker

Lastly, consider the time intervals for each goal. For instance, if the goal is for your child to remain seated during dinner, does that mean until everyone at the table is finished? It may be more realistic to expect them to stay seated until they are finished and not ask them to sit quietly with nothing to do. At school, is the chart asking him to sit at his desk calmly all morning or is it only possible for him to sit quietly for 20-30 minutes at a time (maybe a small break at that point?) So that success is achievable.

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4) A word about rewards

The reward must be desirable by your child and appropriate for her developmental level. For a very young child, the sticker itself may be the prize! For preschool and older children, it requires a bit more thought. Many parenting books will try to dissuade you from offering treats or toys as a prize. They will encourage you to use more interactive rewards that both of you can participate in. For example: a trip to the park, special time with mom or dad, etc. These are beautiful rewards for all of you and can be perfectly appropriate for older children. But for younger children, the challenge is: are you ready to go to the park as soon as your child earns his sticker? Is your child developmentally able to connect a date to the park over the weekend to her success in earning a sticker? Sometimes a magic box filled with dollar store toys could work and sometimes a child choosing what you will cook for dinner may be great. Maybe a pass on taking a bath for older children or an additional show on tv (or you tube these days!). ? If you have a reward that cannot be provided in the moment, don’t forget to talk to remind her why she was invited to choose dinner or read an additional bedtime book. Remind her of her success. If your child is old enough, include her in the process and choosing of the prize - that makes is easier for everybody!

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5) Work with your child on the chart

In addition to collaborating with your child on his rewards, consider including him on the creation of chart itself. Can your child decorate the chart with you? Also, is he old enough to discuss the targeted behaviors and objectives listed on the chart? Can you and he write the goals out together? Just remember to frame the goals in a positive way. For instance, rather than “don’t hit your friends” you could write, “I will keep my hands to myself.” (Notice it’s in first person).

Finally…

I agree with the experts who worry that sticker charts and other behavioral plans aim to control and change a child’s behavior through extrinsic means. Many sticker charts are impossible to generalize into other real life situations or will bring about long lasting changes. And the motivation to complete any goal is based on extrinsic motivation. And we truly want to encourage our children to find their intrinsic motivation to do well. However, if goals are kept realistic, achievable, short term, concrete and observable they can be helpful.

If you are determined to use such a chart, these are the ingredients for as successful outcome.

In closing… remember that your child wants to do their best and please you. If he does not earn a sticker or two, please don’t admonish or blame him. You are her best ally and cheerleader. Encourage them to keep trying and let them know there are always more opportunities.

Please contact me to schedule a session so we can talk about creating an individualized sticker chart for your child that is effective and User friendly.