Parent Coaching: What Is It?

Parent Coaching is the collaboration between a trained professional and parents to address areas of concerns related to parenting and children.

“Parenting was much easier

when I was raising my non-existent kid 

hypothetically”

Some days, being a parent can be hard. Others….even harder. And then, in an instant, things shift. Your child looks at you sideways over a bowl of morning cereal and makes a goofy face; or you watch her gather her strength to master an unanticipated challenge and she looks to you with vulnerable bravery; maybe he climbs into the chair with you for an unsolicited snuggle or just reaches out and coos as infants do. There it is: that “ahh” moment when your body relaxes and you can feel warmth wash over you. You think to yourself, “Oh yes, this is what it’s all about.” And you remember why you love being a parent.

“Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. “Pooh!” He whispered.

“Yes, Piglet” “Nothing,” said Piglet, taking Pooh’s paw.

“I just wanted to be sure of you.”

Parenting is not for the faint of heart. There are many difficult jobs out there but when asked, many parents will acknowledge that parenting is the hardest of all. Because no other job tugs at your heartstrings, evokes such fear or instills such a profound sense of responsibility as parenting.

As new parents, we typically have expectations about raising children that are culturally determined and often unconsciously based on our own childhood experiences. Have you considered what are your values as a parent and family? Do you know where they came from and how they have may evolved since having your own children? Many of us have strong opinions about hot-button issues such as sleep, discipline or the role of authority. Do you know where these ideas came from for you? How are they working for your with your family? Are they the same for all of your children and across all environments or are they responsive to the specific moment? These are complex questions that we are faced with throughout our parenting lives. And just when we think we have a handle on the whole ‘parenting thing,’ our children change and suddenly we need to adjust in real time.

“I put my symptoms into WebMD and it turns out I just have kids.”

Parent coaching is a relatively new area of professional support that can help parents parse these questions. With a coach, parents can examine ingrained patterns of interacting with their children and explore where they might like to see change. A professional coach can help parents to identify ways that their own childhood experiences influence their expectations of the parenting process and their core values about family. 

No matter what stage you’re at in your parenting, there’s a good chance that at some point you’ll find yourself confronted with staggering decisions. From career choices to childcare, navigating the complexities of family life can be overwhelming at times. Sometimes, it helps to get a little outside help and perspective to move forward with compassion for your children and grace for yourself. 

What to expect to gain from parent coaching:

• Greater insight into what your children communicate through their behavior

• An understanding of child development; what can be expected of children at different ages and stages

• An examination of different discipline philosophies and techniques to find what works for your unique family

• An understanding of core styles of parenting; which is your approach and how can it be tweaked to enhance your relationships

• How to parent with intention and gain greater confidence in your choices 

• Behavior strategies for children who are struggling

Parenting is not about having all the answers. It’s not about being a perfect role model. And it’s certainly not about directing and telling children how to be successful in life. It's about balance and allowing our children can find their own way with our guidance and wisdom. What’s important is to find compassion for our mistakes and how to repair those mistakes with your children in order to deepen your relationship and move forward.. Parenting is not for the faint of heart. It’s about becoming humble with your own imperfections, accepting your child’s imperfections and embracing the challenges together. 

“Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.”

~ Dr. Benjamin Spock