Transitions for Young Children: Beyond the Five Minute Warning

TRANSITIONS are often very hard for toddlers and young children - especially those who may struggle with ADHD or autism. Toddlers and pre-school children take a longer time to process information than older children (research indicates that it can take up to 45 seconds

for a toddler to process directions). They have little sense of time: before, during, after. They can become completely absorbed in the moment and ‘after’ doesn’t exist for them. So saying to your child, “you can play for 5 or 10 minutes longer and then we have to…” doesn’t register the same way as it does for older children.

Below are a few ideas worth thinking about beyond the classic 5 minute warning…

Tip #1 - Examine what is the general sequence of events in the morning

• Is there any one point where your child struggles? 

• Finishing breakfast? Jacket on? Putting toys down? Strapping into carseat?

• See if you can identify the one (or more) specific tasks that trigger your child

• Is it possible that re-arranging the sequence might produce another reaction?

Tip #2 - Try breaking the transition into steps

• Is there any part of the transition you can get out of the way before the ‘big moment?’

• Shoes or Jacket on?

• Backpack or lunch packed?

  
  

"What can seem like easy, normal tasks to us as grown-ups can feel overwhelming to little ones who don't have executive functioning skills yet and whose limbic systems are fully developed." ---- Cowlacki, Jamie: Oh Crap! I have a Toddler: Tackling These Crazy Awesome Years - No Time-Outs Needed

Tip #3 - Allow for extra time?

I know, I know…. Can we really get up any earlier than we do now?

• Are there ways to streamline or share tasks?

• Let your child sleep in the clothes he needs to wear the next day (it's been done and it's ok!)

• Is there anything you can prepare the night before? Your clothes? Your schedule or lists organized? 

• Is there anything that you can streamline? Shower the night before? Lay out clothes 

Tip #4 - Things to consider when developing strategies for transitions: 

• How sudden is the transition? How quickly do you need her to stop playing?

• Do you need him to pack up as soon as you are ready? Are you running late?

• How involved is she in her playing? 

• How do you like to be interrupted in the middle of a a focused activity? Can you empathize with how hard that is?

• What is he playing? Is she on an electronic? 

• How long does she have to play between breakfast and leaving? Is there a way to shorten/extend/eliminate this extra time?

  
  

Tip #5 - Who Is Your Child?

• How fast can your child move when needed?

• Is there a consistent pattern of reaction to an upcoming transition that you can notice?

• Does she need a quiet approach with eye contact and physical touch or does he respond to a quick direction?

• Observe him and her in different situations and watch how they move from one activity to another?

• Are there certain activities that are easier for your child to stop than others? Are there certain activities that are harder for your child to start?

• How can you create motivation to move onto the next activity? Create a positive context for what comes next

Anxiety Rising?

Morning transitions can be the hardest of the day. We are often rushed, sometimes late and have many things on our mind and tasks to accomplish before getting out that door for the day. Remember that our children take their cues from us. How we respond to these situations will be key to helping your child master these challenges. Breath and remind yourself that 99% of all tasks or work that you have can wait a few extra minutes (this one is the hardest for me!!!).

Hopefully the above questions and consideration can inspire some ideas that will work for you and your family.

Please reach out if you would like to discuss further.