Impulse Control: In the Moment

IMPULSE CONTROL doesn’t typically start developing until age four or five (for neuro-typical children - even later for those with ADHD or autism). Toddlers and preschoolers are impulsive by design. The part of the brain (pre-frontal cortex) that regulates emotions and impulses is under-developed until around age four to five. And it can take several years more before a child is consistently able to regulate their impulses. Think of it like building up a muscle. Your child has to strengthen and build up their ability to regulate impulses and that takes a while!



That doesn’t mean we sit idly by and allow impulsive and inappropriate behavior. How do we manage it with our children? 

1. Take a breath and put the behavior in the perspective above (pre-frontal cortex development)

2. Bring her attention to the behavior and let her know why it’s not ok (using language she can understand) - don’t talk or explain too much! Simple and concise is understandable for a young child

3. See if you can understand what prompted the impulsive behavior (that can offer a road map for how to address it)

Re-direct him when you can. Help him to find another way to express or cope with whatever he is feelingThe body content of your post goes here.

Remember.... change doesn't happen overnight. Be patient with him; be patient with yourself; be patient. It's a long game.